And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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