Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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