You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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