Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize