i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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