we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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