So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have so many feelings about this burrito
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
