I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
