Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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