i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize