she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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