We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
