they need to just BURY HIM!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
