woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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