just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
