I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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