life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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