after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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