my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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