There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize