school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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