Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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