She said her name was "party"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
