Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
