Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Randomize
