I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
smell my finger.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
