Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize