Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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