After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize