He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The dick lei will go down in squad history
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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