Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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