I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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