i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
