he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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