I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
