He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
