I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Let's get the cat blown out
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
