There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
