Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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