Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
