It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
