JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
