why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
