We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
