we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
