just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
being pregnant is like rehab
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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