i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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