dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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