I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
