I wish you could order shots online.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize