Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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