Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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