well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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