I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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