I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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