ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
