I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
